if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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