I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
