I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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