the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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