I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
