But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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