Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
