there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
