Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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