just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
