the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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