Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
