At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
