Whats the glycemic index on semen?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
