U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he puts the penis in happiness.
he thought i was a dude.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
