it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
did i walk over a car last night?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
