U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
