We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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