If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
