The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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