I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize