I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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