Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
