I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
