dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
