Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize