I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
