I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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