We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
