that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
