She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
