I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
