your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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