I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the day after is always just damage control
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
