so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
