no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
