her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
