No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
