I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
