my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
