I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
