I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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