good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
