There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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