If that was your dad, he is hot
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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