Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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