OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
