I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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