I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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