If that was your dad, he is hot
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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