Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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