I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
