If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
