if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
