She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
