Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
