i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Randomize
