i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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